Mister Squeaky reporting for duty. I've had enough of being an oppressed minority so I'm going to start campaigning for the rights of Giant Rubber Goth Bats everywhere and I think I'll stand as a candidate to be Mayor of London (it can't be difficult as they let Ken the Newt man do it).
My manifesto is built around extremely positive discrimination in my favour and no-one else's. So here's what I want, what I really really want:
- Free Bombay mix for all Giant Rubber Goth Bats
- A Halloween parade with free glow sticks and lots of stomping
- Lots of free trips to the Carpathians on spurious trade missions to get special rates on turnip brandy imports
- A gold plated oystercard
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