A Bat of Great Integrity

Hello Electors

I'm back again, this time to refute all the allegations about undeclared interests and misappropriation of funds.

Firstly I would like to make it perfectly clear that I did let the party chairman and members of the committee know that I had received a donation of £3.95 in crossed postal orders, it was only later that I discovered that it had been a gift from Herr Doktor von Squeakenstein. I am of the understanding that the good Doktor was not aware that he should have declared his donation publicly.

Secondly I never paid my cousin Squeakina the princely sum of £1.99 for acting as my research assistant as she was at university in Bistriţa at the time this payment is alleged to have been made, I think it's some other bat you're thinking of here. Once again we have fallen foul of the stereotyping and institutional speciesism which is so prevalent in today's society and which we of the Mister Squeaky The Giant Rubber Goth Bat For Mayor Party seek to overcome.