Partly Political Broadcast

Hello Prospective Voters

Here I am again your Official Mister Squeaky for Mayor candidate. Now I note there have been a number of disturbing occurrences in the Office of the Mayor in the last few days and allegations of inefficiency, non-declaration of interests and just the teeniest whiff of alcohol related issues.
I would just like to reassure you where I hang on these issues (I'm a bat and let's face it we don't tend to stand...in case you were wondering)
I'm all for free fact finding holidays on your expense, in fact the more of them I go on the fewer the tedious dignitaries I would have to meet. And to prevent the allegation that I am drinking too much turnip brandy whilst on duty I would like to remind you that most experts agree that there is no safe lower limit for the liquor in question and so I'm protecting you all by disposing of it in a safe, controlled and totally transparent way (and avoiding tedious meetings into the bargain)
Remember a vote for me is a vote against everyone else!