The Diet of What?

It has been drawn to my attention that there is a dreadful Scottish woman on the telebox who goes around essentially rating people's poo and then giving them helpful dietary advice in deliberately belittling and humiliating manner despite the fact that visual examination of faecal matter is not exactly reliable - unless you're a Customs Officer and than you can tell by careful observation that someone might have been smuggling drugs carefully wrapped in a load of featherlights.
Anyway, as you do, I've discussed this in some detail with Herr Doktor von Squeakenstein over a few steins of Rhubarb schnapps and he's of the opinion (as an almost trained psychotherapist) that the woman must have some kind of serious anal fixation and has speculated that she must be into sodomy and coprophilia at the very least. Can't wait for that to hit the News of the Screws