I've just spent an incredibly frustrating day working my way around the wonderful world of food safety regulations and have discovered that whilst it's ok to buy freshly killed bunnies from the farm it's not ok to wrap unapproved lettuce in the wrong sort of plastic. Also I now know how to find out if the ceramic container for my steak and ale pie contains excessive lead - although there does not appear to be a similar test for grouse or even, for that matter, partridges recently shot out of the pear tree. Unfortunately there appear to be no regulations relating to roast turkeys served with the wrong sort of sausages.
Mister Squeaky's just back from carol singing having fortified himself with a pint or two of turnip brandy- I can just hear the end of his version of the Thirteen days of Christmas..."Two Rubber Gloves and a call girl dressed in PVC" - I don't even want to know about the other eleven days
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