"Oi Vlad you slag - I'm gonna get ya - You'll never take the Queen's Head as long as Peggy Bathory's alive" Some things are clearly lost in translation - just musing about a script Dracula written by the team responsible for Eastenders. Just wait till they get their hands on the bible - sex, death by stoning, matricide, particide, infanticide, people turning into pillars of salt, mass drownings, warnings of dire consequences for sodomy, nailing people to trees, arson etc etc...
Some little while ago now I was bemoaning the fate of television and sort of challenged myself to come up with the worst possible televisual extravaganza - unfortunately I appear to have been beaten to the crown jewel of this by ITV who've apparently launched a new series of Celebrities in the Jungle (vote now for which one you want infected with Ebola) and presented by the Geordies from Hell themselves - Ant and the other one - Now I've nothing against people from the North East as individuals- but as a group you should hang your collective heads in shame and carry out some mass penitence because of these two - hanging them by their feet from the Angel of the North would be a reasonable thing to do as a start, then perhaps having them pelted with empty Amber bottles and finally (if it's still there) dangling them over the main stack for the ICI Nitric Acid plant in Middlesborough until they are a nice shade of bright yellow.
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