"Interweb" Blues

Tim Berners-Lee and Bill Gates must pay for their crimes against humanity. There is no alternative, they should be seized by crack SAS units and taken to the Hague to face trial immediately. Yes, that's right the so-called "father of the internet" and the founder of Microsoft (tm) are in my book seriously guilty - the only thing to consider how they should be punished.
Now why am I so put out by these criminals, very simple - due to their inventions I have been deeply embarrassed. I was somewhat vexed (to put it mildly) to find that when I emailed a certain band they did not reply to my mails - so in a fit of extreme exasperation I removed the photos I'd taken of them from my web gallery and put them on the blacklist - only to discover last night that they'd never received the emails at all. Therefore have put grovelling apology on website - put the blame fairly and squarely on the above named reprobates and reinstated the gallery.
Now I quite like the idea of having Mr Gates tarred and feathered and then pulled around the town on a handcart before he's put in the stocks and pelted with old floppy disks - and obviously having this as a live webcast (assuming of course that the interweb can be persuaded to work properly).
The other sod, I believe was a scientist working at CERN were they accelerate particles, so perhaps a fitting punishement for him would be to be whirled round in one of those centrifuges they use for testing pilots reactions to G-forces until he is completely covered in his own vomit - having of course been first fed with all sorts of things to make it especially unpleasant - chicken tikka masala (never nice second time around) and so on.