Ex-Libris

Yesterday I went to the library only to find that it was being staffed by a very loud (OH MY GOD), very empty headed (IT'S LIKE TUBULAR YOU KNOW) very loud (TOTALLY I'M SURE) VALLEY GIRL.
Now sometimes you just can't help eavesdropping, especially when you are in the presence of someone who's volume level was clearly inspired by Spinal Tap (goes up to 11), so whilst I wandered around the library looking for books on a range of subjects for myself (English History and escapist literature) and my faithful Giant Rubber Goth Bat (the biography of Erzebet Bathory and The Observer's Book of Turnips) I could not help but hear all about the trials and tribulations of the Valley Girl Librarian (I'M SO BLONDE GAG ME WITH A SPOON TOTALLY I'M SURE I'M INTO THE CLEAN STUFF) and it was all I could do not to laugh at the desk on the way out so I ahd to resort to humming the tune to Valley Girl (Frank Zappa) instead which I'm sure is a violation of library regulations unlike employing people who are clearly too fucking loud for library work...unless of course they have had to include them under equal opportunities