Tell me lies

Almost had the joy of having to interview a person to see if they were suitable material to manage a children's care home today. Now I've just spent two-and- a-half days having to learn all about the relevant care standards etc etc. Well it's cheaper than mogodon for when you can't sleep and at least three hundred times less addictive.
So anyway the candidate arrives and was asked for his CV, he was apparently labouring under the misapprehension that he was to meet with some bankers who were going to give him unlimited funding and a free hand. Didn't want to be interviewed, appeared very very nervous, don't know whether this was due to interview idea or meeting his first genuine pagan. Possibly both. Anyway to cut a long story short the guy bolted off back to the depths of Kent.
Saw paperwork he had submitted to the prospective backer (watch this space - hours of fun with the vacuous Tracy) found reason for nervousness and it's not just that he's a born again xtian - he's a convicted criminal (benefit fraud x 3) therefore should not even be considered as a "fit person" and as for the excuse given for having a criminal record "It's not my fault I was told to sign on and work at the same time and the benefits agency thought that it was a bad thing so I got a criminal record that cost me £80" Too right mate!
Also had a good look at his policies and procedures that he had laboured over night and day - funny how most of them were clearly marked "Property of Kent County Council" and you can't tell me that this was the guy's real name.