Freedom My Arse!

'Ello Mates!

Only me your very disgruntled Giant Rubber Goth Bat. Honestly some people just don't know when to give up. I've just had to chase off a load of of unwashed hippy animal liberationists who broke into the dungeon to set me free. "Here you go you poor creature freedom at last!" they were chanting right up until the point that I sank my fangs into one of the great unwashed and removed a sizeable lump of dreadlocked scalp and my would-be liberator's cries soon changed to "Gerroff you evil minded bastard". Still that'll teach 'em to mess in my affairs. They really should have checked the bestiary before they came cold calling - for the last time I'm a bloody urban species I like to live in towns and cities, I like a regular supply of Bombay mix (even if it's never got enough sev and there are always far too many dried peas in it for my liking) and I don't want to have to go hunting for it. Sometimes animals are happy as they are...