Mister Squeaky has been released from the Lichen Fort having finally admitted to mugging Paddington Bear and nicking his sandwiches, having considered all things I have decided that being made to eat the marmalade sandwiches was punishment enough. Anyway one of our correspondents has asked what naughtiness Mister Squeaky has in store for scaring children now that the nights are drawing in. Needless to say that the terrible bat had the following to say:
"Generally I'd use some kind of sharp instrument - a knife would be good although a cat o' nine tails would make a much better pattern. Oh sorry scaring children I thought you said scarring children has anyone seen a bottle of vintage turnip brandy anywhere?" [Note: The interview was abandoned at this point as Mister Squeaky found the bombay mix and as per usual has had to be extracted from the jar with a liberal application of lard to the ears]
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