A Vote for Mister Squeaky

Hello Bat Fans,

I've decided that you'll only vote for me to be Mayor of London if I make tough and decisive policies on the things that really matter. So here are some of the key issues that must be addressed. Vote for Me and you know that they'll all be taken care of to make our capital a much better place for Giant Rubber Goth Bat and Vampyre alike!
Firstly I'm going to ban all hippies from Camden Lock Market - ethnic prints sold by dreadlocked stoners in Che Guevara T-Shirts are an eyesore and have no place in our subculture. Then I'll make sure that all buskers and street entertainers meet a minimum acceptable standard and anyone who plunks out a sub-standard rendition of streets of London in the hope of earning enough for a two-litre bottle of White Lightning will be dipped into the Thames and have their instrument humanely destroyed.
Expensive restaurants which employ celebrity chefs (the ones where they whisk off the silver cover to reveal three peas arranged artistically with a dribble of sauce and a mint leaf as a garnish) will have to pay a hubris tax - actually I quite like this one and might extend it to artists who supply stuff to the Tate Modern...food for thought indeed