Ring Ring

I'm sure I've mentioned annoying ringtones on mobile phones more than once, but here we go again. One of our service users, for reasons best known to himself, has decided that "Welcome to Jamrock" is the idea tune to announce to the whole world that he has a mobile phone (and in the words of Mister Squeaky is "a complete arse").
Anyway, having considered the problem carefully and have rejected the initial solution (giving the phone a good belt with a 10lb sledgehammer) I've come to the conclusion that people should be subjected to a rigorous array of psychometric tests to determine what ringtone would suit their personality best. So having encouraged Herr Doktor von Squeakenstein (with a sharp stick) to carry out a preliminary survey I can reveal that I should have "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana on my phone and Mister Squeaky should have the Nefilim's "Pazuzu" on the bat phone. Further research is required because so far we can't track down a song called "Wanker of the Week" for the aforementioned service user