Artistic Endeavour

Hello Bat Fans,

As the Master is a bit indisposed at the moment I've been told to write the "bloody blog thing" or else no more bombay mix - and turnip brandy without a mouthful of gram flour noodles is just wrong. Anyhow as you know I've given up on art - the trouble is that I'm a misunderstood genius - mind you the money from an Arts Council grant would have come in handy so that I could have afforded a better class of garret to starve in, I think the real trouble was that I didn't have enough of a gimmick to satisfy the art historians - van Gogh lopped off his ear in the mistaken belief that it would be fatal, Dali was just weird and Damien Hirst likes spots and chopping animals in half, so just being a fucking talented Giant Rubber Goth Bat was clearly not enough.

So I'm just left with trying to make my mark in the field of cuisine instead, the trouble is that no one so far has anything complimentary to say about my signature dish, not that I can see there's anything wrong with anchovy ripple ice cream served with a warm garlic coulis....