The following letter has been returned to me stamped "Gone Away" "Not known at this address" and "Please don't tell that terminally deranged bat it was me that brought it back" For completeness I should mention that it is written in blood red crayon on the back of a picture of Dani Filth so no prizes for guessing who the author might be.
"Dear Satan,
For Yule I want the following -
Lots and Lots of Turnip Brandy
A box with an X on it
World Domination
The chance to bite Britney Spears Head clean off
and a sugar mouse
I know where you live AND I'VE GOT A REALLY BIG FIRE EXTINGUISHER SO YOU'D BETTER DELIVER OR ELSE THE ETERNAL FIRES OF DAMNATION GET IT."
...I should also mention that Mister Squeaky has been thrown out of the local branch of Ann Summers - he claims he had gone in there to buy a Christmas Stocking but with him you never know...
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