Mister Squeaky was finally released from custody today at 11:30 am. He refused to answer any questions relating to the "Transylvania Incident", that "Nasty misunderstanding with the Swiss Authorities" or indeed the allegation that he had brought Heathrow to a standstill by flying around the control tower radar whilst eating a chocolate biscuit wrapped in tinfoil. However enquiries have led to the following information becoming available:
The Transylvanians are particularly unhappy with Mister Squeaky (who is now a bat non-grata in Cluj-Napoca) because he allegedly attached a pink lurex g-string to a statue of Vlad Tepes whilst ferociously drunk on turnip brandy and so they sent him packing. He then fled to Geneva under the misunderstanding (brought on I believe by watching too many British prisoner of war escape movies) that the International Committee of the Red Cross would give him aid, he is curiously reticent about what he actually did to enrage the Swiss but I gather that the chocolate was used as a lubricant to assist in the insertion of a cuckoo clock into something or someone.
The troublesome little rubber beast is currently asleep, and I can only apologise in advance for the fact that a normal service will soon be resumed.
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