This actually sounds like something that Spike Milligan would have come up with. British Transport Police are searching for the Phantom Arsehole. Apparently there's a bloke who's been getting on trains at random, waiting until the carriage is empty and then having a crap and spreading the love as it were...and reportedly causing a significant risk to other's health unlike the quantities of stomach contents that decorate the carriages of the friday evening vomit express out of Liverpool Street that the Police have chosen to do nothing about.
The report I was reading (AOL News online) also revealed the fact that the Guardians of law and disorder have cctv footage of the culprit - although it did not reveal whether he was caught mid-crap or not, just wait for the identity parade - "I'm sorry officer I don't recognise any of these arses - but that one just winked at me"
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