Pizza! Pizza! Pizza?

Clearly I have too much time on my hands. Unless you can thing of any other reason for sitting and contemplating the psychology of pizza toppings that is....I mean what's it all about - who on earth thought that pinapple was a good idea? - I can't stand the stuff when its been cooked and as for cactus (Rocket Pizza in Mile End used to do this believe it or not) green and tasteless but at least you can say that you boldly went.
And then there are the set menu concepts - who decides what should be on a vegetarian pizza? Why do they always use red onion, green peppers and sliced mushrooms? Why does a meat feast never include chicken? Why do pizza express use stupid names - I want a tuna anchovy and caper pizza not a "King Neptune Super sloppy" or whatever.
Mister Squeaky however, being a bat of relatively simple tastes, always goes for a design your own unique pizza and gets disappointed when he finds out that you can't have whatever you want - I've tried explaining that wasp grub and crunchy beetles would not have universal mass appeal but he still flaps off in a sulk every time.

Incidentally no little goth girl received by return of post - expect retribution, If you wake up with a damp ear don't come running to me...