Quality Assurance

I have been informed that in any venture it is essential that you get consumer feedback, just to make sure that you're doing the right thing and that the consumers are happy with your product. This is all fine and dandy, but what if what you're doing is for yourself and other people sign up for the ride...how do you measure customer satisfaction?
Not of course that I particularly care about this you understand but good old CSCI insist that this is carried out for all care homes too. So imagine if you can someone who has precious little in the way of communication skills being asked by one of the idiot inspectors how they feel about the place they are living in...Well we're starting out on the catastrophe curve aren't we - add to this a degree of challenging behaviour and we can look forward to the following conversation....

CSCI Inspector "How do you know if X is happy or not?"
Care worker "Did X try to bite you?"
Inspector "Yes. Twice"
Care worker "She probably likes you then"

Onwards and downwards...