It's here and it contains a hugh amount of Xmas Crap. Some of which I can't really imagine even the most devoid of taste wanting - pink Playboy earrings for example - Now the contents of Mister Hefner's bank account would be more reasonable or even a time share on some of his lifestyle sadly though this is not on offer.
The most amazing thing is the sheer variety of expensive toys all of which are in the fourty to fifty quid price bracket, all require sufficient batteries to meet the energy needs of Lichtenstein for a week and somehow I suspect will be broken by Boxing Day.
Some of these items are deeply sinister in my view - realistically skinned baby dolls "look ma they really shit themselves" and furry robo-kittens (which presumably leave disembowelled robo-mice in your merry reindeer slippers) to take two examples - what is the educational aim of these toys? - just wait 'till you have to take the cat to the vet because junior has attempted to insert some duracells up its bum or little miss Hyde has tried to take the baby apart to see how it works...
Anyway, fear not seekers of darkness, DarkAdaptedEye to the rescue - so just in time for the Xmas rush Me 'n Squeakers (That's Mister Squeaky to you mere mortals) have identified a suitable gap in the market and suggest the following for a riotous Christmas day Gorefest:
The Herbert West Junior Reanimator Kit
My Little Igor
Portrait of Dorian Grey By Numbers
Verona, Marishka & Alleera's Guide to What not to Wear (who needs Trinny & Whinny when you can have the brides of Dracul instead - Take note Transylvanian Vamp is the only Black - with shiny stuff & Knee High New Rocks*)
A cuddly Mister Squeaky
Something to put on a number of moderately serious bites inflicted by a rather cross Giant Rubber Goth Bat who thinks you're taking the piss...
That's enough for now methinks
*still having those thoughts about Mab & Scarlet (Oh Well! Back to the coffin)
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