Time for the Home for Old Goths

You know it's time for the Home for Old Goths when you find yourself saying things like "Back in the Day" and "I remember when the Sisters played TOTP", and when your secret fantasy was Julianne Regan...
But seriously folks, what worries me more is people who don't find themselves in a cosy reverie and try to be younger than they are in a failed attempt to be credible with the yoof. Why bother? All it does is make you look like a complete tosser to all and sundry.
Enjoy your status as an elder of the community, sit there in your New Rocks Carpet Slippers, puffing on your pipe and wearing a cloth cap bought from Fairy Goth Mother in Camden (at great expense) with a host of baby bats sitting at your feet listening in awe as you tell them about the first time you saw the Mish.
Quote of the Year "She's a really good drummer, she plays in a Phil Collins Tribute Band"
Is Phil Collins Dead? If not, Why Not? Why does he deserve a tribute band? Answers on a bat to the usual address.