Yes folks its true. The Dark Adapted Eye Committee (something like the committee that awards the Nobel prizes) - well me and Mister Squeaky anyway - have decided on our music awards for excellence in 2005. Firstly I should like to point out that we have had a considerable amount of difficulty on deciding on a name and therefore I should like to thank *rambles on incoherently for six hours*...and I'm proud therefore to announce the Golden Squeakies for 2005. (thunderous sound of one wing clapping)
Now I'm sure you don't want all the crap of the losers so I'll just go on to announce the awards:
Most incontinent bass player: The red headed guy from The One I Hate for leaving the stage mid-performance not once, but twice and going to the gents.
Best debut Album: Moriarti and the Sith for Skinwalker Nice bunch of guys too...send us a fiver!
Dodgy Sound Engineer: Whoever it was that screwed up the sound for Avoidance of Doubt at the Ruskin
Shortest Gig: 3 minutes - See above
Most Photogenic group: Has to be Subterranea - Sorry Deceit but you don't have Paula as your vocalist....
Best Band Manager: This is a vote open to bribery and corruption - brown envelopes full of cash to the usual address please.
Media Whore: Adam Bomb but a very close tie with the wankers from Snake Eyes
If you want a Golden Squeaky Award send me your reasons on a postcard giving your name, address and bank details and the consent of your guardian....
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