Brit awards time again. Personally I think it reched its peak when presented by the gruesome twosome of 'Smanthaa Fox and that strange bloke from Fleetwood Mac and anything from there on was a step in completely the wrong direction.
Now in the interests of research I have looked carefully at the categories and the nominations and have (well no surprise here) one or two observations to make. Best British Female solo artist - I thought Katie Melua was a Georgian and probably therefore related in someway to Josef Stalin, and Natascha Bedingfield was from New Zealand - How therefore can they be included. With regard to Best Pop Act - James Blunt - housewives favourite - Not Pop in any way whatsoever. And finally best "International" anything delete International and substitute "American".
Now let me think about recent stuff that I'm quite keen on which could be described as International, (none of which is in the running - but then that's not surprising is it as the Brits are for mainstream tedium only.) Theatres des Vampires, Lacuna Coil and Mab (Italian), Within Temptation and The Gathering (Dutch), Skinny Puppy (Canadian), Bitch Alert! and Nightwish (Finnish) and last but by no means least Lacrimosa (German) - quite a lot of European stuff in fact but of course not represented.
Anyway here are my suggestions for some alternative brit awards (and the nominations of course)
Most Tedious Band: Coldplay
Pretentious nonsensical arthouse rock: Franz Ferdinand
Overhyped waste of space:Coldplay, Kasabian (and anything recommended by Lauren Laverne)
Most Gothic Act: Moriarti and the Sith
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