The Train Kept a' Rollin'

I was watching some of the coverage of the train crash at Greyrigg when that loud-mouthed oxygen thief from the RMT was bleating on and on about how its the fault of the train companies that there was an accident and how sorry he would be if one of his members should suffer so much as a broken fingernail because they hadn't been wrapped in cotton wool or words to that effect.
So discussing this with Mister Squeaky - who knows a bit about trains having once eaten a Hornby model of the Flying Scotsman - we came to the conclusion that there's a conspiracy afoot and that the accident was caused by the Road Haulage Federation in an effort to make the railways seem so unsafe that everyone will want to sent their goods by road.