Outbreak

There's no sense in not taking any precautions, so here I am sweating like hell in a full NBC suit and respirator waiting for the all clear. I've put an old carpet soaked in disinfectant outside and I've also declared a ten mile exclusion zone, just to be on the safe side - Oh and all mail has to be autoclaved. The reason being that we have an outbreak next door but one of a virulent plague of chickenpox - and I'm being careful because I don't want to have to paint a cross on the door and lie down and wait to die - hold on that's bubonic plague - or break out in haemorrhagic lesions (surely that's ebola) I'm beginnning to smell a bat here... Mister Squeaky - Have you been messing about with the home medical encyclopaedia again? And you wonder why you didn't get a job with the NHS direct call centre....