Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Beware of Sikhs Bearing Gifts

Boss arrives this morning looking like he's part Cheshire Cat - has got latest version of Microsoft Office - The Brand that Annoys (TM) for muggins here to install. Anyway to cut long story short have spent far too much time looking at installation progress of software and consequently too much thinking time. Not Good. So to give you all a flavour of my day here are the highlights of my random musings.

Insert disk one. Why are Penguin biscuits so called. Are they made by penguins, do penguins have a secret fondness for chocolate, do penguins live in chocolate growing areas of the polar regions. If the biscuits are meant to appeal to penguins why aren't they fish flavoured. End of Disk one Coffee break fragile sanity almost restored.

Look out Disk two. Kangaroos have pockets, why weren't they the first animals to invent velcro, zips or buttons to stop things falling out. How cross do they get when their biros leak, if they have a packet of biscuits in their pockets how do they get rid of the crumbs afterwards. End of Disk two. More coffee. Reboot computer.

Oh No got to configure the bloody applications apparently. If chickens get 'flu where do they keep their handkerchiefs. If a turkey stops taking heroin does it go through a period of "cold human". Software now installed home time.

Please do not attempt to answer any of these important questions without the aid of a safety net.

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