Yuletide Cheer

Have just struggled home from the barren wastes of Ilford Town Centre having gone in search of a suitable festive gift for my mother. Of course can't find a bloody thing because the shops have already been depleted by christmas hungry gift locusts and there's not a lot left on offer.
We then have the joy of the "exchange mall" where youthful townies seem to think that jostling somone on the point of exploding with rage is a really good idea - right up to the point where you elbow them exceptionally hard in the ribs and say "sorry mate I thought you were a mugger now fuck off before you get really hurt" and they run off as getting blood on their "von wanker" designer baggies does not for some reason appeal.
Anyway I now have it on good authority that mother wants some kind of creative project - anyone know where I can get a paint by numbers Laughing Cavalier?

Just as a brief and irrelevant footnote the diet appears to be working- have now lost a few pounds but there's a hell of a long way to go before I'll fit into a little black dress!