Monday, December 26, 2005

Once, Twice, Three Times a Commandment

Well Hello again! Recovered from the Christmas Eve HANGOVER yet have we? Got a HEADACHE? Hurts when people SHOUT does it? Absolutely no sympathy whatsover, it's your own fault and you can't blame me (Commandment No 2 applies)

So back to the serious business of telling you lot what you can and can't do. I've considered diet and I've considered responsibility for your actions, so it's time for some stuff about sex, after all most religions need this to create serious psychological problems for their followers in later life, and why should I be any different. It's not my fault that the Taliban decided that a woman's erogonous zones start about twenty nautical miles from her body and therefore she must wear an ex-army bell tent with a small mesh grille to look through - as far as I am concernd this is not an attractive look. Nor am I a fan of assorted male and female genital mutilations - so you're safe folks - although I do feel that people should have their penis extensions surgically removed and crushed (little red sports cars in case your eyes are now watering)

So here goes with the commandment:

Commandment Number Three - "Don't do anything you'll regret in the morning"

There, that just about covers it and will be the cause of plenty of anxiety in converts from guilt-based religions.

Now for a brief advertising interlude "Give me all your money, you know you want to"

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