Have just come back from a world of wonder and awe - no I've not been browsing the latest copy of the laminated book of dreams in case you were wondering. No not me, I've just been to Chav Central - that's right, Lakeside.
Oh what a joy it was to survey the orange masses - thirty something leather skinned essex girls plastered with fake tan, looked more like a flock of DFS sofas or the David Dickinson bastard offspring society on manouevres, all covered with burberry or giant logos for some down market designer or other - Elizabeth Duke I think... and the last time I saw so much silicon was in the B&Q warehouse when I was looking for some bathroom sealant. Really they should issue these people with mirrors like the Evil Queen's...picture if you can.."mirror mirror on the wall , who's got the fakest tan of all" "David Dickinson you second rate excuse for a moron, whatever possessed you to believe that looking like Judith Chalmers would make you attractive?"
And guess who was getting all the looks - yep you guessed it Mr I don't belong here and I don't care. Got a problem? If not I'll give you one...." Just goes to show doesn't it? Black will always be in fashion.
Time to release the bats.
p.s. Sick of fuel duty go to www.fuelprotest.com and let your voice be heard
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